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She turned to me without even looking at me, tears running down her face and put her head on my shoulder and a hand on my thigh. "why do men keep doing this to me! fucking hell!" she said in a weepy tone. She looked up and met my eyes finally, her mascara running. "What's your name?" she asked. "Harry." I said. She took my chin in her hand and said "I'm going to need more Champagne!" "No I think you've had enough, Carol." I said. "You know my name." she said a little tipsy "He's right, Carol." said the barman drying a glass like a cliche. "you know my name too." she said to the barman giggling. "OK, OK, I know, I've had too much to drink, just send it up to my room as I'm heading upstairs." she said as she went over to pick up her tossed purse from the floor. "I'll bring up the Champagne, Miss Vorderman." said the barman running off to set it up. As Carol stumbled out the bar I ran over to her and held her up and walked her to the stairs. "What room are you, Carol?" I. . and not a slut whore! Some times the pain, especially the pain, can clear my head straight for awhile and screaming gets it all worked out of my system for awhile. Like now ... I really do feel better!" That's pretty harsh, to need to remember and relive exactly how your father raped you. I think I went a bit too far in the excitement, your face was beet red for awhile." No ... it was really just about right. I deserved it for the way I disrespected you and my other lovers, and what you might consider real pain actually was just acutely focused pleasure for me. I hardly ever feel that sort of pain at all and it just goes straight to my clit, simulating me and increasing my desires. You weren't too rough ... and now I feel much better, especially with you now holding me. I know I'm still sick and I badly need my psychiatric help, and I'll go first thing Tuesday morning to see Mary again! I just can't live this way, divided inside anymore and I don't care anymore what it takes or what.
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